Children, I love them

 My youngest son told me one time, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." It is true you get what you are born or adopted in to. 

I believe we learn much of our parenting skills from our parents, and then we make it up as we go along. No matter what Dr. Spock wrote or the Parenting Magazine publishes, there is not real parent handbook. I also believe, whether you have a good relationship with your parents or your children depends on how we each are treated as we grow. Good communication, and I don't mean texting, but sitting down and talking to each other and the most important part, LISTENING to each other. Listening to their dreams and aspirations in life means a hell of a lot to kids. I wish now that I am older and reflect more, that I was more of that 'cookies and milk' type of dad. i think I was too much interested in working and making the almighty buck. I also was a lot like my parents with the hard core approach to discipline and following strict rules of mine.That hurt my relationship with my oldest son, who later in life, he thanked me for being so strict. I was surprised.  

Nancy and I  were married before we got together. She already had two children, Tony and Tina. I had a son, Shawn by my first wife. Shawn lived with his mother and Tony and Tina lived with us. I always told everyone Tony and Tina were my children too. And they always will be, just like Shawn. 

All three grew up to be great parents and solid family people. All three had beautiful children, of which Nancy and I are so blessed to have. Unfortunately we lost Tony a few years ago, and it was very rough on all of us. But we still have his wife and our oldest granddaughter. 

Shawn lives in Michigan with his wife and three children. Tina, her husband and three children live just miles away from us. Tony, Tina and Shawn all grew up as fine family folks and career minded. I am so proud of them all and their spouses and especially the grandchildren. so maybe, just maybe, we did ok as parents back then. My wife more than me, I believe.

I sometimes wished I could have sat down with my father and mother and just talked about what we each wanted from life and what our dreams were. Now that they are gone and we are the seniors of the family, I reflex back to my youth and wish for that relationship. But that chance is gone now. I know we all just want the best for our children. To grow up with the good attitude, good morals, make the right choices, and chase their dreams in life. Sometimes kids need a gentle push, a suggestion or just a an open ear a hug and a smile. It make things feel SO good and SO worth it.

Truth. What do you believe it is?

My parents always taught me to tell the truth, no matter what. I can't say I always did, but most of the time I have. Like the old saying states, "The truth sometime hurts.".  But telling the truth when it counts is important. Should I tell someone their loved one is cheating on them? I really don't want to be that person, even tho I know they need to know.

The bible says to never lie. I get that and as I said sometimes I have sinned by not telling the whole truth or twisting the truth so someone does not get emotionally hurt. We all want to live in the 'good and happy times' (like Mayberry RFD) and everything we hear is true. But I must tell you truthfully, that's a lie.

We believe in what we want to believe, and all else is a lie, until someone convinces us the opposite.  Many beliefs are passed down from our parents, friends and associates. "If my loving parents or good friends believe that, it must be right."  Because your parents voted Democrat or Republican or Libertarian, does that mean you should? Maybe or not? In our country, we are all free and have the right to vote our own mind, not someone else's beliefs.

Many people watch the news daily, and listen to the report for the Left or the Right. Do you believe what is being said is the truth, or a bias view? I think most would say they think it is bias, BUT they watch that channel or report because the channel views things that person believes. Again, we believe what we want to believe.

Let's look at the Covid vaccination theory. We hear scientists and doctors say the Covid vaccination will stop us from getting Covid. Yet millions refuse to get vaccinated because they believe the side effects are worse that Covid. It will change your DNA? There is a microchip being injected? It will cause you to grow horns? I don't want to be told what to do. I don't like needles. And so many more excuses. Yes, some people have died after the vaccination, but they had some sort of underlying medical problems. How can you tell the truth from a lie or twisted truth? DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Investigate the research that has been done for decades before we heard of Covid. The vaccine is not new much like so many others that have been formulated for future viruses and different strains of flu.

How can you tell if someone is lying to you? I personally don't believe everything I hear and sometimes see. I check the facts and listen to the scientists, check multiple sources (on both sides of the fence), check their sources and make my own conclusion. I take what politicians say in consideration and think about it. I take what acquaintances say into consideration and still do my research. I appreciate suggestions, thoughts and views, but make up my own mind. No one knows it all. Obviously not me.

Your opinions, beliefs and thoughts are yours and yours alone. Be that judge in a court that listens to ALL the facts, thinks about it and decides based on  ALL OF THE FACTS. Not hear-say, or what you saw on the news, or what a friend told you. twisted truths, fake news or plain old lies will cause you to pick the wrong choice. Get vaccinated so you don't join the more than 600,000 people in the United States who refused to listen to the facts. 

Lastly, before you make an opinionated statement, check your facts, and you'll look less like a fool and more like a knowledgeable person.

Take care, stay safe and God bless you all.

Remembering

I got into work (my office at the time) at 7 AM. I had asked to make my office at our department's Historic Station 8. The department's oldest and decommissioned station. I only had a few months before I would retire, and before I retired  I want to get out of Administration and finish some things I started years before. The date was September 11th, 2001.

As I made some coffee and listened to the fax, computer power-up and the coffee maker perk, I clicked on the old TV. Some news was on, and I wasn't really listening until I heard, "A plane just flew into the Trade Center in New York City."  I walked to see what was going on and saw the video playing out. I grabbed my cup of coffee and sat down. For the next 2, 3, 4 hours, I sat there glued to the TV. I watched the second tower fall and chalk covered people, in a zombie state, walking down streets kicking up more dust. Firefighters rushing into the scene and Police officers guiding people around, and looking like they don't know what to do.

Days later, I was told our Fire Chief, our Union president and the Executive Assistant Chief were going to New York to help because some of their Fire Chiefs were killed in the tower collapse.  Our FEMA Response Team prepared to leave for New York too. I was like a lame duck since I was months from retirement. I wanted to do something, but what? Then a retiree's wife called me and said, "I just saw a news report saying the firefighters needed dry socks and the search dogs need food." This was due to the hot rubble they were searching on. She asked if Historic Station 8 could be a drop off point for anyone donating socks, dog food, dog booties etc., to be sent to New York. I agreed and sat things into motion by notifying local news and radio channels. I made more phone calls to air transport companies and they jumped at the opportunity to get involved and help. America was coming together as one. It was a great feeling. People donated so much, New York asked us to stop sending stuff. We had so much dog food, it fed the animal shelters for a month afterwards.

In the days and months to follow, the news was saturated with re-play after re-play of the towers being hit, stories about what they did, how they hid from the falling debris and dust. It was to the point of ... nothing else mattered, except constantly reminding us of the tragic event we ALL experienced. Maybe not personally, but via TV, radio or social media. And now we are hit again with those sights and sounds of September 11th on its 20th anniversary.

NO, I WILL NOT FORGET! How can I? It is burned into my brain, and every year we are forced to relive it all over again. Believe me, I will never forget my brother firefighters and police we lost, along with all the other civilians. Nor the ones who died later from diseases caused by their searching the rubble for survivors or body parts. Nor will I forget the Americans coming together to do whatever they could to help heal the rescuers and the city of New York. I'll never forget. It is as hard for me to watch those planes fly into the towers again and again as it is for me to watch Vietnam movies and remember friends I lost there too. I don't want to remember anymore. Forgive me, but I can not forget the loss. Hug your children, friends and relatives. Life is short. God bless you all.

Wars (and/or Police actions)

 Even before this country was a country, we were involved in a war.  My 6X grandfather fought in the Revolutionary War, and all but one of the family tree males following him serving our country proudly, but I HATE WARS! By count, the United States has been involved in 10 wars and/or police actions, including the Revolutionary War. Our country does this because? Oil, greed, power, to stop our enemies or aggressors, probable progression of communism. Who knows for sure. The media and government will tell us their reasons and maybe we'll believe it or not. I do know the losers are our young soldiers, their families, civilians, property owners, and neighboring countries.

Don't get me wrong, I hate wars, but I would die defending this country, for a good reason. I just believe we, as a country, get involved into too many other countries affairs and end up losing our soldiers and tax dollars for a nothing cause. We have battles in this country that should be a higher priority than theirs. Like Covid, drugs, shootings, poverty, suicides and much more.

I served during Vietnam, and the Afghanistan War reminds me ALOT of Vietnam. Let's compare.

In Afghanistan, we took over from Russia. In Vietnam, we took over from France.

2,448 US lives lost.                                    58,220 US lives lost

Spent 20 years.                                          Spent from 1954 - 1974  20 years

$2 Trillion spent                                          $176 billion spent

weapons and equipment left $$$$              weapons and equipment left $$$$

Since 1776, the US has been in a war 37.7 years and lost 1,348,063 US soldiers, not including US civilian losses. My calculator started smoking when I tried to add up the amount of money that was spent on all wars, JUST for the United States, not including other countries involved and their lives loss. (Stats according to USA Today and Britannia Encyclopedia) 

I understand why we went after Osama Bin Laden, and fought Japan and Germany, and fought back against England, Spain. But like I tell everyone, get the facts straight before you act. We have attacked countries before we got our facts straight and correct information. It has cost us dearly, in lives, injuries, trauma and trillions of dollars.

While the previous administration told us, "Everything is going well", it really was not. Our politicians like like to boost their own egos and legacies. While our government model is good, it is NOT perfect.  That is why voting is so important, and getting the facts is too. The media gives you their views and they are ALL bias. Be smart, check the facts, re-check the facts and listen to the professionals who do the fact-checking before you vote.

One last statistic, Covid 19 has killed more people than ANY war in history. That is a FACT! Get vaccinated!!!

Stay safe.