I get deliveries from Amazon, UPS, FedEx, and of course, the Post Office, neary daily. Mostly car parts or just stuff we really don't want to drive to the store and get ourselves. Ok, call us lazy. But after a day of hiking 7-9 miles like Nancy, and me crawling in and out from under cars, yeah, we're tired. But back to the topic.
As I greet the delivery person, I sometimes think about how we greet people we really don't know. I have had several people address my as 'BOSS'. That sort of hurts, especially if it is a black person. It sounds as if I may have been a descendant of a slave owner. Obviously I don't say anything, but I would rather not be called that. Mister (Mr.), or Mr. Shell, or Sir, or just plain Harrold does it for me. I am not a BOSS to anyone. Certainly not the drivers.
Some females dislike the term "Ma'am". I honest call many females Ma'am. That was the way my mother taught me the address a lady/woman. "Yes or No Ma'am". For men it was "Yes or No Sir". It really does not matter if the person is older or younger, I believe it just shows respect to an unknown person to you. How about calling a lady "Miss or Mrs' even when you don't know her marital status. I have some correct me on that too. We had neighbors, when I was very young, we called Ms. Kelley or Mr. Kelley. One day, their grandson, and my playmate, harsly corrected me. "Why do you call my grandmother Ms. Kelley? That is my grandfather's first name." I bluntly asked, "What should I call them?" That was the only names I knew to call them.
I guess the prefix we hang on someone comes from farther back than we realize. We you were raised in the South, Southwest or a rural area, their prefixes are probably in your normal vocabulary. And come out naturally, like me. Even if I am on the phone talking to someone I can not see, I address them in those ways.
I twice sat next to the late Senator John McCain at banquets and I addressed him as Senator McCain or Mr. McCain until he told me, "Just call me John." I liked that. It was clear how I was to address him. Of course I would only call him that in private, not in a crowd.
To me, names are a way to, not only address people, but also signify who or what they represent. Doctor, Professor, Chairperson, Chief, Mayor etc. It also tell you things about that person or company or event you automatically recognize. If I mentioned Microsoft, or Pepsi, or McDonald's, you would automatically recognize that company. That is called a 'brand', and so are those prefixes we hang on people. Sometimes they like that brand, and sometimes they don't. I guess sometimes it may be best to NOT give someone a prefix at all. A simple 'Yes' or 'No' suffices. Sometimes just hearing a name brings images, feelings or emotions.
That happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was at a gathering at a fire department conference when the name Joe Woyjeck came up. Joe is the father of one of the 19 firefighters who perished in the Yarnell Hill fire in 2013. A wildland fire that nature turned ugly and took the lives if 19 brave firefighters. Kevin, his son, was only 19 and the youngest.
I quickly sought out Joe and renewed our friendship and mutual topic of losing a son. Over lunch, we both discussed what we were doing since that horrible day in June for him, and February 2015 for me, and our retirements from the fire departments. Joe from L.A. County, and me from Phoenix. Friends and family don't need prefixes. Prefixes are for unknowns or to show respect. But if someone corrects you, don't take it personal. We all have a way we like to be addressed or known. Take care, stay safe and ... just call me Harrold.
