How is your life? Is it what you expected to be?

 When I was a kid, I mean in my teens, I had great dreams of what I wanted to be, do and see in my future. I dreamed of being an artist and marrying a pretty blonde lady ,and having two blonde headed, blue eyed children, having a loft studio and becoming a stable middle class family, and enjoying seeing our children grow to become professionals in the community. As I grew up and reality sat in, that dream slowly eroded into joining the military during Viet Nam before I got drafted, find a good paying job and travel the world to experience it ALL. Well, that did not quite go the way I planned either.  I did join the Air Force, I did find the pretty blonde and we had one child, and I did travel the world. But my artistry aspirations did not make that punch list. The marriage lasted about 7 years and I decided the child would better staying with his mother instead of following a guy who had no clue what would come next.  She did a great job, BTW. I moved west to Arizona with (at that time) a good female friend, who eventually became my wife.  And now, we will be celebrating our 48th year of marriage next month. Not what I thought it would be, but VERY grateful for how it turned out. My son is a successful family and business  father of three amazing children and married a lovely and also successful business and loving wife/mother. With my marriage 48 years ago, I gained another son and a daughter I always wanted. Later came four grand children which are also awesome and smart. So I consider myself a VERY, VERY blessed man. No, my adolescent dream did not come totally true, but I am glad it turned out better in so many ways.

Ok, so Harrold, what is your point? Well, "Always be afraid of what you wish for, because life and God has their own path they want you to take."  And there MANY different factors along the way that will cause your path to detour in a sometimes rough road. Mine was rough at times. Sometimes like a rural rocky narrow mountain pass, but the view at the top was amazing. 

So now I get to the 'Geist' of this article. I believe our day by day things we take for granted will change  slowly but drastically in the coming months and the next years. This has grown over the last few years in America and it scares the hell out of me. I see a person who is slowly tearing the moral structure of this great country apart piece by piece. If someone disagrees, he penalizes them  or fires them. He has no caring for the rest of the world. He has surround himself with like billionaires that love power at any cost. He will do whatever it takes (even if it is against the Constitution) to get his way no matter who suffers or dies. He continuously speaks of  misinformation, denial, skepticism, bias, discrimination and hate. And all of that has divided our country in a way that is slowly killing the moral fabric of our nation and is spilling over into the world by way of distrust with our neighboring countries and worldwide allies. He wants to take over a sovereign country merely for their resources, and another country by making them the 51st state of the USA. It seems to me, he just wants to rule the world. Isn't that what Hitler wanted also?

I can't believe people are so blind to what this man (people voted for him) do not see through his evil and fringing on unconstitutional ways. Power and his believe is all he wants. Maybe, just maybe they will open their eyes when everything, I mean everything, soars up so high in price to the point of average people can not afford to eat, drive, buy a home, get a job, go on vacations, OR ANYTHING!! Your news will be restricted, your media will be restricted, soup lines of the depression will return, Social Security will be gone for millions, food banks will not be able to keep up with demand and our country will fold.

I know, I sound like it is the end of the world is coming. I hope I am wrong. I just see things I have read in history books about dictators who did the same things before a a nationwide revolve of the people, and many, many people shed their blood with needless and power hungry egoistic rulers.

Like the late Reverend Martin Lewis King, in his "I have a dream" speech, I have a dream also, that the people will demand their representatives in both houses,, to stop this crazy sledgehammer wrecking of our country and government  That all starts with you, the citizens and voters. I am not the chicken crying 'the sky is falling', but a very concerned veteran who is afraid it may fall.  If you still want to follow me, please click "FOLLOW". Then I can reply to your comments and/or criticisms. Take care, stay safe and make your voice heard in non-violent way.

My changes

 Before I type anymore, I want to tell you it is nothing bad, but yet the describe more about this journey which I am traveling and how you play a part it.

After being delayed a week with my treatment of chemo, because of a low platelet count, last Wednesday the count was up to where they should be...well barely. So another 3 hour sit, watch a movie on my tablet and come home with a pump on my hip for 48 hours. Still no much in symptoms except cold sensitivity, and maybe a slight lose of feeling to touch in my fingertips. Now a week off and go through the whole thing again, and again until this thing is gone. I got this.

But there are other changes going on too. Since I am leary of being away from home too long, doing things I never thought twice about, like suddenly becoming fatigued or wobbly or just out of sores. But still I go on. None of this scares me, but afraid to be embarrassed in front of people, or embarrass them. I think, "This is crazy Harrold, just do it. Cancer is NOT a death diagnosis. I Will get through these times and life WILL get back to my normal." I don't look for sympathy or pity or coddling. I just want to be understood life throws all kinds of speed bumper at you  during your time on earth, and you, I must deal with them as strong as you can and keep on going. My father never wanted me to cry, and it very hard for me even today. But I must admit I do get chocked up at times about certain types and occasionally leak a tear or two. I believe it is perfectly fair to release those emotions, whether they are in a sad or happy times. But not in anger.

I have experienced several changes in my physical body, my emotions, my thoughts and my reflections of life in general, past and present. Maybe it is just I have found my inner consciousness that has come to me finally. I don't know. I DO know I am more aware of things, people and the world more now than I did before. Or it  just I have more spare time to think. Maybe all of the above.

There are some things I really enjoy and cherish. I love to see a new babies, their tiny little feet and hands. It beings a smile to my face. I love it when I talk to my dog and he stares in my eyes as if he is reading my mind. It is calming to me and I believe my dog too. I love it when I see a friend as they hold out their hand to be shaken and it develops into a hug. I love when my grandkids ask me for advise, or help on something that is very special to them. I really like people that do not react to something that is totally ridiculousness, without proof or truth checking it first.  And unfortunately there are many people out there that DO react in a radical way. Those types I try VERY HARD to stay away from. Everyone has options, whether the meet with my standards or not, they are theirs. And be respected as such without an argument erupting. 

I also absolutely love that you read my babblings about all sorts of stuff I am going through, thoughts and obversions in my life. I honestly did not intend this blog to go in this direction. I initially intended to tell  and show you about our trips and family, but you know one thing turns into another so here we are. I WILL continue posting photos, and stories about our trips and fun things but sometimes I get the urge to inject something I feel very strong about. Excuse me for that.

Again I truly appreciate your readership and comments you leave. Thank you. I get absolutely nothing for your readership except you listen and sometimes appreciate the things I write

 For now, Take care, spread love not hate and stay safe.

I had a MINOR set back...I hope.

 This last Wednesday I drove to Scottsdale for my scheduled infusion of Chemo. As usual, the nurse attending me drew blood to check my levels to see how things were doing. Having only one treatment, I did not think there would be much change. While I waited her return, as I began to settle in for the 3 hour infusion process, I notice she was talking to another person at the nurse's station. When she came back, I got ready by pulling my shirt down so she could plug into my port. Then she said, "Your platelets are low, So, the P.A. who is filling in for your doctor (who is on vacation) did not want you to get more chemo this week. Your body is not producing the platelets as fast as we hoped." I asked, "Can't you give me a transfusion of platelets?"  She replied " No, not until your doctor returns to the office."  Feeling a little down and wondering if this was going to be the norm, and does this give the cancer a bigger head start. I felt there should be a bigger rush to get ahead of the cancer before it spread. I don't know. I was really bummed like a dog with his tail between his legs after no one would play with him. I wondered how could I help or do or eat to boost the production of my platelets faster.

When I got home, I immediately got on the internet to see what I could do to speed up the platelet production. I don't always believe what I read, see or hear from the internet, but respected sources, I do. Apparently be taking certain vitamins and eating certain foods will increase the power of your bone marrow to produce platelet faster or at least lean a helping hand to the production. But, the amount you have to take or eat was A LOT! So I guess I have to just resolve myself to wait for the doctor to get back. 

Medicine and government both move at the speed of a slow snail. So I had to focus on something other than my cancer treatments. That is when I go to my shop and work on a car to change my thoughts and get out of the mind-set. By the next day, I was OK but still occasionally thinking about it, but not as much. I guess I always thought of Cancer as this wild fire disease spreading rapidly that was a battle to stay ahead of it quickly to stop it from going other places. But since my cancer was found in the part of my colon that was cut out, and the surgeon stated he thought he had seen clear margins of the parts still there, all of this is just precautionary? I am good with that, but please Lord, let's just getting going before it does spread farther. Not panicking, just a little anxious. I am not the typical worry-wart but want to know all the facts from a respected and authentic source.  Not that the nurses or P.A. are not. Just want more info from my oncologist/hematologist doctor. I really hate waiting. 

OK, it sort of sound like I am a worry-wart but to me, this is really serious, right? But we have other things to really worry about in this country and that is the present President and clone buddy Elon Musk. Our representatives need to take their heads out of the sand and see what these two (along with their other cronies are doing to our USA, our government employees, our Park Service and (I believe) our democracy. by limiting medias like the Associated Press (AP) NBC, CBS and PBS. By closing worldwide departments like USAID, Radio Free America, National Fire Academy, that he believes the nation is getting better and the Department of Education. And then Trump basically does a Telsa commercial of the lawn of the White House. The stock market has dropped any advancement made for the last 10 years in just a few weeks due to the Trump and Musk debacles and eliminations, firing and lay-offs. But yet, Trump says the nation is improving?  Who is feeding him such lies that he believes the nation is getting better?  PLEASE, do the right thing, contact your senators and representatives and tell them the people are not happy and want them to stand up against Trump and Musk. Until they do, it is going to get worse and WE THE PEOPLE will suffer with inflation and unemployment, state struggling to reproduce what the federal government use to do. Again, I am sorry. 

I am a 'DOG DAD'

 Yeah, I have a dog. Actually Nancy and I have had several dogs. From five Dalmatians (Toby, Tasha, Calle, Dreyfus, Sasha, over a 3 decade period), to a small Miniature Schnauzer named Scooter, which bonded to me for 11 years. All had different personalities, but loved to be with us. Some would love to take hikes, a few were very protective of the kids, some wanted to be with you 24-7, and a couple would just come over, give you a lick and look then walk away. Our now grown kids loved having dogs, and so did we  Of course they can be a pain with shedding and grooming and being sick or watching them fade away in their latter years. It's heartbreaking. But I loved them all and always will. I can probably tell you all of their little quirks, but I don't want to bore you.

Now, after several years without a dog, Nancy wanted a dog to go hiking with. She had a couple requirements. It must be a medium size, fuzzy, non-shedding and very smart. At the time we found just about all those requirements in a puppy. A client brought me a car he wanted to restore which just so happened to own a K-9 dog training company for VERY well trained personal security dogs. I told him, "Here's my deal. I will work on your car if you train my dog and us, hour for hour." He said, "OK." Things went well for the year it took me to finish the car.  Today Cooper is  2 1/2 years old, fuzzy, medium size, non-shedding so he needs to be groomed and some times a pain in the ass.  He listens to me, especially when I rise me voice, and some times to Nancy, but she is Mom and he knows her buttons. The thing I love about Cooper is he is gentle with us and visitors. He is not a biter, but a licker. EVERYTHING needs to be licked. I tell people, "He can't keep his licker under control." Of course he is a Golden Doodle. A mix between a Golden Retriever and a Poodle, and they both LOVE to play, ALL DAY LONG.

If Cooper wants to play on a windy, cold or rainy day, he'll sat in front of the back French Door and stare out while occasionally turning to look at you. When ANYONE comes in the door, he meets them with one of his more than a dozen soft, dirty old toys and a wagging cable like tail. "Let's play!"  On those seldom nasty days, we love to watch him slip and slide around our tile floors cutting corners as he chases after a toy we have thrown for him to retrieve. But that is not his best characteristic, he senses our moods and feelings so well. 

Cooper bonded with Nancy from the day we got him. If she is not around he comes to me for reinsurance and be his scratch friend.

Eventho I have not had any major side affects from the Chemo yet, last night I had a bit of something stomach related. I had to sleep in my "healing chair' (my Lazy Boy recliner) . With night of restless sleep, I awake to this.

Cooper was sitting there patiently and quietly watching me sleep. Our dog knows something is just not right. Sometimes when I sit on the floor with him, he'll come over, sit SO close, stare at me with head turned and with his extremely long tongue give me a giant slow juicy lick, as if he is saying, "I am here for you Dad." 

As I come home from my second round of Chemo treatment on Wednesday, other than Nancy, Cooper will greet me at the door with a toy in his mouth squeezing the annoying squeezer inside the toy, sniff me and give me his signature lick saying, "I am glad you are home Dad."

Yep, I am a DOG DAD and happy to be one. Take care and stay safe out there.