Advice for living

 Every Sunday, I sit at my computer and think of something to write on my blog (since we're not traveling much lately). Hopefully it would cause others to maybe stop to ponder, or smile, or even frown about the topic. Well, the other day, as I sat here, again, looking for parts for my latest car project. I was browsing 'YouTube' to get some instruction on how to do something on the truck, when I came across some very wise words. Let me share them with you.

There were 49 rules to live by from a 91 year old man (unknown). I thought 49 would be too boring for you, so I cut them down to 10 rules (what I thought) were the most appropriate and important ones.

1- Life is not fair, but it's still good.

2- When in doubt, take small steps.

3- Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4- Don't buy stuff you don't need.

5- Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

6- It's OK to get angry with God, he can take it.

7- When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

8- Make peace with the past so it does not screw up the future.

9- If a relationship is a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

10- Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

And I am adding this, "Fortune favors the brave, because doubt will make you stumble and fail."  

Thank you to that 91 year old gentleman for passing alone his wisdom. Take care.

What are you thankful for?

 I started a tradition at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Going around the table, I asked each person say what they are thankful for. It is interesting to hear and watch their faces as they express their thankfulness for one or several things.

Thanksgiving was started as a celebration for harvest time and good crops. In 1621 (as the history writes) a gathering of the Plymouth colonists and the 'Wampanoag' people (native Americans in the area) feasted on deer, duck and geese. Thanksgiving did not become an official holiday until Lincoln's presidency in the 1860s. The turkey was eaten because it was big and did not produce eggs, like chickens, or beef from milk producing cows. Turkeys were so big, plentiful and it could feed an whole family. OK, enough of history.

As most holidays have evolved, they have become centered around food because it is a common thing for families to seat around the table and, not only eat, but to hopefully talk. Which sometimes escapes us in our busy lives. In our house, not only family is at our table, but friends, neighbors, co-workers and anyone that may not have a close-by family to join with. We do not want them to spend their Thanksgiving in a Denny's alone.

But giving thanks for something or things you cherish is a must. A lot of people give thanks for their family and friends. That's great. I give thanks for many things. Good health, a vaccine for Covid, my career in the fire service, my God, my wife, my family and dear friends, our freedom, our soldiers in harm's way, just to mention a few. But I give thanks ALL year long. Every birthday I have gives me more time to enjoy and cherish the things I love most.

Thanksgiving Day is not celebrated in all countries, it's mainly an American holiday, but there are other forms of thanksgiving in their own cultures like ours. The idea is to just give thanks and celebrate and cherish those things you have.

Sometimes the world may feel dark and divided, but if you really look around, you will realize we have a lot to be thankful for that other countries do not. Bare essentials like food, clean water, and shelter. It may hard to for you to imagine drinking water out of a dirty river and feeling hungry all the time, or living under a cardboard roof. We are VERY fortunate.

So on Thursday as you gather for that big feast, before you eat, ask the attendees to say what they are thankful of ... and then talk, tell a joke or blow a kiss to your spouse across the table and be thankful for this gathering of people you love. Happy Thanksgiving!

Grieving

 Recently, my family loss a beloved member and a cousin to me. That news of his passing brought back memories of 6 years ago when Nancy and I loss our oldest son. But even more so, a huge loss to his wife and daughter. I believe they are still struggling with their grief and trying to fill that hole in their lives.

To me, there is nothing fun about going to a funeral, whether you know the person or not. I think I would rather get teeth pulled than to go to a funeral.  And even if you don't know the person, I feel I should still grieve for them. Over the years, I have gone to TOO many funerals for friends, relatives, co-workers, so that I could somehow support the family. 

Experts say there are 7 levels of grief, but I disagree. I feel only one and that is PAIN. If I cut myself, the pain will eventually go away. But the death of a loved one will never go away. The pain will somewhat decrease over time, but the hurt is still there. But like a cut, you will always have a scar. The trick is to not hide the scar with more scars, but to become stronger from it. Even after many years of losing my parents, I still feel I should call them and just say "Hi'. I may not call them, but when I am alone in the car, I may talk to them. It looks like I am talking on my hands-free phone, and no one knows, until now.

I saw a show this morning where a man hung an old rotary dial phone on a tree in a beautiful forest so people could make a call to their passed relatives, friend or someone that no longer alive. People say it actually helps with their grief. Maybe calling an old answering machine to hear their loved one's voice, or seeing a video of them, or smelling a piece of clothing, brings back a feeling of loving memories you have.

To me, I want to remember that person as they were before the disease, or illness, or tragedy took them away. Laughing, smiling, hugging you, kidding around, and all the good things that were the essence of that person.

The person you love is not gone. Maybe in the physical sense, but they will ALWAYS be in your heart and in your memories. Cherish that as you cherish your living loved ones. Take care.

What "Pops your cork?"

There are a few things that really get under my skin. I am sure you all have some too. Most (and maybe all) are created by ourselves. I really hate to complain, but these things are ridiculous.

Number 7 - People who have no for dead, especially family members. They make jokes about the decented at the funeral. They may do weird things to the body like put a funny hat on them, or fix their middle finger in an obscene way, or take a stupid photo with them. Be respectful folks.

6 - People who brag on themselves to make them feel a bigger person. I think that is because they very insecure or trying to impress someone. To those people... It makes you look like an ASS!

5 - People who do not abide traffic laws. Ok, I've amit I have sped from time to time, but crossing four lanes of traffic because you want to get in front of a semi-truck on an off ramp, REALLY? You not only endangering your life, but other people around you.

4 - Facebook suggestions. If I want to find someone or a group, I'll look it up.

3,2,1 - These are something that really cost all of us money. Pharmaceutical, Injury attorney and Insurance commercials. I realize TV Networks and local channels need to sell advertisement time to pay for the air time, but these commercials really do cost each of us. If a pharmaceutical company advertises on TV, radio, or whatever, and a patient requests their doctor for a prescription for that drug (even if the doctor does not frees it is needed) the insurance company pays for it, which in turn hands that added payment to our premiums. Most doctors will write the prescription. Doctors know what prescription you need (in most cases), so you don't have to tell them, just discuss what he/she prescribes.

Have you EVER heard of an Insurance company going bankrupt? I have not. Seldom, they always get money back for claims by getting higher premiums somewhere else. If it is a car accident claim, your home insurance goes up etc. AND they control costs and claims on THEIR OWN! Not an independent company. And some insurance companies own pharmaceutical companies, so they control drug prices too.

Finally, Accident attorney commercials. I don't know about where you live but here in Arizona, there are 14 accident attorneys for every divorce or Social Security attorney, and they all advertise. At $250 or more an hour, I guess they need more clients. I also guess we are 'sue-happy' in Arizona. "Don't touch me, I'll get a bruise and I'll sue you."

OK, I am done bitching. Sorry again. I believe my blood pressure has gone down now.

November 11th is Veteran's day. A very special day to me and my family. Since my ancestors landed in the "New World" (USA) in 1750, every male in my Shell heritage, with the exception of one, served in the military. From the Revolutionary War to Viet Nam. That is why I fly the stars and stripes at my home 365 days of the year. If you see a vet, or know of one, tell them, "Thank You". They really appreciate the thought. We all may not always agree with the politics of today or yesterday, but I believe we all believe in our country our forefathers tried the establish. It may not be perfect, but it is better than the alternative.

Finally, you unfortunate people who live someplace other than Arizona, don't forget to turn back the stupid clock, SORRY! We don't do that in Arizona.