You don't know what you have, until you lose it.

 I think we all have lost something or someone and realize, "I really miss them (or it)." I am sorry to say, I have been there too. I did not realize the reality of how much it would affect me. Whether it is a loved one, a friend, a car, a house, a job, it hurts. Sometimes it is a loss you remember all your life. Some losses are worse than others, especially a loved one. And, people deal with it in different ways. Some mourn for the rest of their life, and others don't, Some just can not get over their loss and waste away from heartbreak. There is great help out there for those people, friends and families. 

As a retired firefighter, I have seen more than my share of carnage, destruction, death and loss. For some firefighters, military personnel, Police Officers nurse and doctors, those scene can never be erased from their memory. And those can haunt them forever.  Many try to suppress those memories and visions which makes it worse. I have seen this through co-workers. Firefighters, much like the other professions mentioned, build a wall around themselves it hopes of protecting them from breaking down after they witness an event. Everyone has different ways of coping. many do not want to seem weak or childlike. Talking to others that witnessed similar events can help tremendously. But sometimes they need to visit a professional.

We should all recognize the stages of mourning and loss.  
Denial - "This can not be happening."

Anger - "Life is unfair, why did this happen?'

Bargaining - "Looking for a shred of hope."

Depression - "The worst stage and maybe the most dangerous"

Acceptance - "Well they are in a better place."

An additional stage is, getting help.

A certain little thing may spark or re-ignite that memory you have suppressed for years, and all of a sudden you are reliving the loss and depression. Even if you know a loss is coming, you still experience that loss as if your heart was ripped apart again.

Many people suffer from a loss or losses and have no where to turn for help, or have a friend to talk to. Just a hug and an understanding shoulder to lean on helps so much to comfort a grieving person. Everyone has that capability to help if they just take a minute to listen to someone. Just listen, don't criticize, or tell them how to deal with their grief. Just be a friend.

It is never easy to be that grieving person or the be that friendly ear, but we have to try. Of course, life was not meant to be easy, was it? Take care, stay safe.