Are you a "leader"?

 What is your definition of a "leader"? Well according to Webster is "someone who sees how things can be improved and rallies people to move toward that better vision." I don't know if I totally believe that is the best definition of a leader. Mainly because that so-called leader has convinced others to follow him or her toward his or her view. Is their view actually the best view? maybe, but maybe not. It has to be the right way for all, not just what that 'leader' believes.

To the extreme, Hitler was a leader, but so was Franklin Roosevelt. Was Hitler's views better than Roosevelt's? I think most of you would say NO! Because Hitler was a leader by force, not by choice.

I think a true leader is not one who forces you to follow or tells you lies, trying to convince you his views are the best. So you have to look deeper than the surface of a potential leaders words. Some so-called leaders can speak beautiful very inviting words and then they lead you over the cliff. So it is very much up to us as the followers to see beyond the things you want to hear and see the real leadership in that person. I know, that can be complicated. But if you have a vote in who your leader will be, you have to do some homework. 

A cult group of people followed a guy to South Africa years ago, gave up all their wealth for his cause and them he convinced them to drink the poison, and they all died. Another group followed a guy to Texas and they all died due to the government forces get too anxious to rush the compound. And I can go on about other incidents recently where people follow a person which caused a terrible ending, like the storm on the National Capitol.

My idea image of a leader is one that looks at all angles of a situation, along with all the possible side effects or repercussions and then comes up with a plan that will work for all involved, not for just his interests. And as always, there has to be gives-and-takes by each side. This true for small companies, big corporations, states, countries and even in our personal lives. 

I believe most people want to be a leader, and there are some who are satisfied to be a follower. Sometimes called 'sheep'. I can be a sheep, if the leader is good. But my problem is I hate to wait for the wheels to turn on a solution when I see a clear path to that solution. Sometimes I have been too anxious and fell on my face doing that, but that is how we learn. Next time I am more cautious but still see that path. 

Yes, I have been called a leader, but I don't consider myself as a leader but a somewhat 'trailblazer', who is trying to do the right things for everyone. I am not afraid to fall down and try again, maybe in a different way, but still getting that thing done correctly.

A true leader is hard to find. A true leader is easy to find when you see through the rhetoric and recognize their passion and convenience in their path. Time plays a big part too. You must hear their words in many ways and venues. Actions also play a part. See how they react and the actions they do, without praise confides me. This person is truly passionate about their path and in their leadership to this group.

It is not easy to spot a true leader, but you'll know it when it happens. Not everyone will see the leadership because of their personal views, but a majority will. Trust your gut feelings.

Finally, it has been a full year in this Covid Pandemic. I know you have had enough of mask wearing, social distancing, fast food/take-out, and misleading information and conflicting new reports. I AM TOO! Some people have start remodeling, auto repairs and picked up new hobbies to occupy their time. But we MUST stay strong and continue the efforts to control this virus by doing all the right things. And to become a leader to others to do the same.

Leave comments if you like, stay safe.

There are a few things ...

 As I grew up, there were a few standards which I always held very high in my life, and then they merged into my personality and became me. Believe me, I am NOT tooting my horn or advertising my believe to everyone, or trying to influence anyone to believe the way I do, but if you really know me you know these are who and what I vigorously stand for.

These things are: GOD, country, family, honesty, and seeing everyone one as an equal, no matter their color, religion, age, sex or sexual belief.

Nancy and I have been extremely fortunate to be able to travel all around the world and visit countries that some have asked, "Why in the world would you go there?"  Well, the simple answer is because we want to see what the other side looks like and understand their views on life compared to ours. As someone said, "You don't know what a person is like until you walk a mile in their shoes."  We have walked only a part of those miles in many pairs of shoes and found out they deal with the same problems, sacrifices, love, sadness, lose, poverty, political unrest, prejudice, and love for their God, country and family. They are the same as us. Yes, there are some who kill, rape, destroy and make war. THAT IS NOT EVERYONE! Those are the radials, the the everyday people.

Most people only remember the few bad things they hear and skip over the good things that are usually a multitude greater than the bad. The news we hear is usually bad news. Not fake (as some people say), just bad. One report I saw recently was, "Man kills an entire family." Sounds bad, right? If you keep reading, it was a man who killed a family of ONIONS he was growing by pouring a weed killer on them by mistake instead of liquid fertilizer. Poor reporting, yeah, as reporters fight to get a headline. News should be about truth in reporting, not about sensationalizing.

Which brings me to TRUE, and people's ability to trust you or anyone. I can not say I have never told a lie, or stretched the truth to make a point, but sometimes it was in an effort to not hurt someone with the truth. Sometimes there are people who jeopardize their reputation by speaking the truth instead of going along with lies and people who spread them. Case in point is Cindy McCain, wife of the late and well respected Senator John McCain. He and she have my utmost respect, even tho we may not have the same views on politics. What the Republican party did to her was uncalled for and acted like a bunch of babies and sore losers.

Trust, whether an individual or government is built over time and their actions by both sides. Like the current vaccination efforts. There are many people who do not trust the government and the vaccine. Some are justified like African-Americans and Native-Americans. I can not believe the government would purposely poison every citizen or world, to what result? Nancy and I jumped at the opportunity to get ours. It was a real pain to get an appointment but we got our 1st shot and registered for the second on March 17th, St Patrick's day. Everyone really needs to get the shots, SAVE LIVES! Side effects? A little sore arm for one day, no big deal.

Lastly, I have been get some REALLY annoying phones calls.As I am laying under a car with both hands working and the phone rings, I slide out to see if it is family or a possible client and it is someone in another country trying to sell me an extended auto warranty, or wanting me to do a survey about someone I called at an auto parts store... or something else stupid. Scammers are such jerks. 

GET THE SHOT! I am proud of that sticker. Get yours.

Family, Friends, love and relationships

 How many of you have a STRONG close relationship with your parents? Or is it a relationship that is just out of respect? Maybe you have a closer relationship with a friend than your parent/s. I am sure you may not want to admit it to the general public. Depending on what generation you belong to, relations can be quite different. Was your relation a huggy, warm and fuzzy relation, or one that you respected them but really did not want to spend more than a few days together?

As a very wise person put it, "You can pick your friends, but you have no choose in the matter of who your parents are."  I have friends who say, "My parents are SO cool." And others say, "My parents are two stick-in-the-muds."

Relationships are built on relating to each other. Being interested in the others thoughts, hobbies, likes and dislikes, style of clothes, sports, and just being able to talk without criticism or judging. Heck, everyone has opinions on things. We may not be able to agree on what is what, but hearing them out without being a critic, understanding their point of view, with maybe a little debate is OK. 

I will have to admit, when my oldest son was growing up, I grounded him for something he did. I had told him, Never lie to me. So when I grounded him he said, "So it doesn't matter if I lie or tell the true, I still get grounded?" I was taken back for a second and replied, "Yes, but if you tell me the truth and admit you did wrong, the grounding may not be as bad." He did not understand my concept and looked at me with squinting eyes. Like, what? Later, when he became a father, I believe he got it.

In my own case, my father and mother divorced when I eight years old. My mother had to work to support us both. She was not very educated so her job was minimum wage. She did everything a caring mother could do to provide a descent home, food and clothing. Sometimes the places we lived would NOT be my pick, but that was all she could do. She was a very loving mother, but never asked me about how I felt about things, or what my likes and dislikes were. In other words we never REALLY had a heart-to-heart talk. She was always very critical about my father, and expressed it every time I saw her. My father, wanted to have a relationship with me but in his time frame. We spoke but never (again) no heart-to-heart talks. As I got older, I would visit them, on a limited basis, out of still wanting those talks and respect.

I try VERY hard not to become my parents in that respect, to our children. Even tho sometimes I think I reverted back somewhat. Parents have to be a teacher, but not the bullie on the playground. And sometimes that can be tricky, and difficult.

Believe me, I am not a Dr. Spook on child rearing or relationships with your parents or children, but I truly believe love along with understanding and listening MUST be big parts of both. Just watch the expression on another person's face when they know you are truly listening to what they are saying, not just being polite with a blank look. Eye to eye contact is a must and not thinking, "I wish he/she would quit talk so I can go to lunch." HEAR them and comprehend what they are try to convey to you. It really is not that hard to do, and who knows, you may learn something you did not know.

What to comment? Give your story, please do. Take care. Happy Valentine's Day!

Super Bowl Sunday ... and other thoughts

For the last six years when Super Bowl rolls around, I always think of my late son Tony. Tony was an ENORMOUS Cowboys fan. He had so many jerseys, socks, coats, hats and probably underwear with the Cowboy logo blazing on them. I am SO glad we, as a family, could spend his last hours with him. Now in the midst of the Covid pandemic, seriously ill loved ones are just dropped off at the front door of a hospital and possibly never get the chance to say good bye. It's harsh and cruel but that is the present time. I understand it is for the good of others, but it is so sad.

I have a good friend who is battling a type of cancer. A few months ago, he got very sick and she loving wife drove him to the close hospital. As she walked him to the door, a nurse stopped her saying," I am sorry, but you can't come in with him." She stood there stunned and shoulders dropped as the nurse escorted her husband to a wheel chair and pushed him out of sight. She later told me, she wondered if she would ever see him alive again. Thank God he recovered and she could pick him up ... at the door. My heart goes out to people like my friend and his wife.

But it "SUPER BOWL SUNDAY" (as he yells it out). The Buccaneers against the Chiefs in Tampa Bay. Now, admittedly, I am rooting for the Chiefs, just because, no one needs 7 Super Bowl rings. Granted, Brady is great quarterback, and is the oldest player (43) in the league. But does that mean he deserves a 7th? Nope! maybe it is time for the guy to retire like Drew Brees with style and class, instead of shoving the 6 rings into your TV screen. OK, I'd be proud too, but really? Is that really necessary? OK, I'll say it... GO CHIEFS! Even tho I am really a Colts fan.

As far as the fan noise in the stadium, it's mostly recorded from previous games. just think what a game would be like with nothing but a silence stadium. Kinda like a movie with no sound track. Boring!

And lastly. Sorry to my followers about no blog last week. Nancy and I were in a car accident and our/my Ford Escape was totaled. We are fine except a few bruises, but just not have it in me to write anything. First accident and MY first ticket in 60 years of driving. Damn! Now I get to get another car. Take care.

Fear

 If you are in the Southwest US, you are probably experiencing the same weather as I am, cloudy, rainy colder days. That's OK, we NEED rain. I am fine with it, especially since I can't really get out and walk around anyway. You see, Last Thursday, I had my left knee partially replaced. But that's not what I want to write about today. It's the pain others maybe going through.

Fear comes in many forms, but in my mind I see two really big issues we all need to address. 

COVID has turn our world upside down, twisted it around four or five times and then kicked us in the butt. We should all know we have to kill this pandemic. And the only way we can is first, wear a mask and get the vaccine in our arms. The mask part is easy, just wear it ANYTIME you get close to someone you don't know. Obviously, stay away from big groups and social distancing. But getting the vaccine can be a little rough. Our State and County has a website where you go, put in all your info, pick a location (which I believe there are only 3 in our county) and then pick a time. Well, after 40 million tries (maybe 20 or 30), I still could not get an appointment. Finally my wife got an appointment at 3 AM 40 miles away. So I am going to rub my eyes and climb into the car to go with her and try to slip in. Cheating? NO! I am 74 and I am a higher risk with some past health issues. That is one kind of fear. Not getting the vaccine before the virus gets you is plain stupid.

Another type of fear is people who have lost their jobs, and now do not have an income so they may lose their homes. How am I going to feed my family and where will we live? In our little car?On the same issue, people who are suffering due to low business and they may lose their business. Now they lose all the money they have invested AND their income. It breaks my heart to see small family owned businesses close due to the past administration's lack of empathy for small businesses and helping families in need. Huge corporations got millions and many small businesses got nothing. And they say they did a great job?

I believe our newly elected president will do the right thing and start helping the businesses and family, but hopefully speed up the vaccinations of Americans in more that a couple places to get it. By stopping the pandemic, our economy WILL come back.

If the government is reading this, let drugstores, doctor offices and clinics, trained military personal sit up areas in poor communities, small towns, in parking lots, ANYWHERE to get ALL OF US vaccinated rapidly. And for you few that want the vaccine ... I am sorry for you listening to the wrong information from someone other than the experts. Join us and kill this pandemic.

America has always been a country of hope and strength. Let's ALL pull together, get vaccinated, wear mask and STOP THIS VIRUS. 

Got to go and put an ice pack on my knee. Take care, stay safe, and comment if you want.

Look at yourself... first

 I am going to resist writing about the top two "Ps" of the present, the Pandemic and the Presidential debate over who won and who doesn't admit it.

Instead, after hearing a really down-to-earth speech by the actor Matthew McConaughey, I am paraphrasing my post after him speech. He called his the "13 Life Tips". I am just saying it plainly without a numbered list. I only make list if I am going to the grocery store.

As he spoke to  the graduating class of a university, people really need to look DEEP into their-selves before they can love themselves and other can love them. Again, I am spinning this off his speech, but I thought it was SO true and needed to be said again.

Life is not fair, never was, and never will be, but that does not mean you have to fold under it. Accept it, hate it, but NEVER let it beat you down! Get up and try a different route or avenue, but NEVER give up. There may be some helpful hands along the way, but YOU have to push on and only you. Don't focus on your failures. Learn from them and focus on what you did right. The choices you make on your shoulders, not anyone else. You have to live with them. When the day is over, only you can make yourself better and make good choices for tomorrow and the days after.

Define success in yourself. How do YOU define success? Money worth? Position? Friends? Family? Religion? I believe it is who I am. Take away all those things and what is left? That is who you really are. If you can walk away from that and feel good about yourself, then that my friends, that is success. The other things will automatically come to you. Make volunteerly and personal obligations to yourself like making it a point to see more of your family, friends, go to church, volunteer your time to charities and donate if you have the means.

Define 'want' and 'need". Nancy and I have had a running conversation on this topic for years. "Do I WANT it, or do I NEED it" I believe most people want things but don't necessarily need it. Do I need it to live or survive, or do I want it because 'Bill' has one, and it's cool.

Whether you win at life or lose due to your own fault is on your shoulders. Don't be afraid of life and become fearful of failure, be brave and redirect your efforts toward and clearer target. Remember, you are the author of your own life. Not your parents, not your spouse or friends or your school, YOU! 

I consider myself as an empty jar when I was born. My parents deposited a little sand in my jar and as I grew, more people, events and things deposited a little here and there. That sand contributed to who I am today. Every once in awhile, I unload some unnecessary sand or baggage in an attempt to define myself, and hopefully make myself better. The real truth about you is written by you. As Mr. McConaughey said, "All I want is what I can see - and all I see is what is in front of me." I take it, he was in front of a mirror.

Take care and stay safe.

I am appalled

January 6th was one of the darkest day in the United States' history. We all know what happened in Washington DC. Now, along with the pandemic, we are faced with dealing with the Trump followers who think our elections were fraud and illegal. How many times do we have to recount and waste tax dollars to come to the same conclusion that our elections were proper and without fraud.

I really hate to continuously talk about politics, our so-called President and his stupid followers. I am also really sorry if I offend my friends and family that can not see through this president. I still love you, but I disagree with you.

As I was going to a lunch with a couple friends on last Wednesday, I drove be a crowd of people on the front lawn of our Arizona State Capitol buildings. State police were rushing there with lights and sirens. I saw one fellow standing on the curb with an AR15 slung over his shoulder, and I thought, 'that is just not right'. A couple hours later, after the waitress brought our food, my friends and I sat at our table talked and caught up on our lives when one of the guy's wive called to tell us the Capitol was being broken into by a mob. We ask the waitress to change the channel from the Golf channel to CNN. We sat there with our mouths open. I could not believe my eyes.

Up to four years ago, the United States has always been seen as the strength of power and democratic solidarity by the entire world. Now we are seen as a crumbing democracy. A democratic country is built on divided principals and points of view, but settling on a point that most citizens can live with. If you disagree, we stand up and vote. We CAN NOT be cry babies and have a temper tantrum when you do not get you way. That is exactly what Trump has done, and then he influenced other to revolve, as he has implied for the last four years with his tweets, Facebook messages, and even live TV. 

I will admit, I have NEVER liked Trump, or his actions to get out of the Paris Peace Accord, the World Health, the building of the Mexico border wall, and many other things. His actions, and words have lead radicals to invade, as a mob, our Capitol buildings and disgrace this country. We DO NOT need any violence to settle disagreements. We DO NOT need mobs of people to destroy our democracy that we have fought for over centuries. We DO NOT need people that can not face facts, as hard as it maybe to them. My suggestions is, if you don't like the principals of democracy and our Constitution, maybe you should find some place else to live where rebels do as they please, like Russia.

What we DO NEED is sensible citizens to lay down their arms, vote their opinions if they are not pleased, and UNITE behind this country so we can begin to rebuild our reputation in the world, bring respect back into the government by the people they represent. There are failures in both parties and that has to stop. Egos aside, let your representatives know we want peace and unity in our parties, in our states and in our country. And finally, let's stop the pandemic. Take the shot when you can. I love you all and wish you better days ahead.