"In my opinion ..."

 We has bunch of people over the other night. They all broke off into smaller group of like mind and began to talk about their individual topics.  I circulated around listening to each chorus of opinions being expressed, I thought, "We all speak in and about our own opinions." One group talked about the best trail to take while hiking. Another group talked about the best car to buy. Even another talked about politics and the upcoming election, which was REALLY interesting. Everyone had their own opinion about how things should be. And yes, I probably dropped my two cents worth in on different aspects.

EVERYONE has their own opinion about everything, and may try to sway you over to their way of thinking. But sometimes that sales pitch to win you over may turn over to a heated discussion and soon break up that group and maybe friends and relatives relations because of a difference of opinions or views.

I have a theory, "Everyone is right, and no one is wrong on any topic." When I am with a group of people, be they friends, relatives or strangers, I try real hard to 'ride that fence' and not share my opinions (and I do have some hard and fast opinions) due to the possibility of an argument. Two topics I try to steer away from is religion and politics. Very hot button topics.

Opinions are like butts, everyone has one. BUT, I don't want to compare butts. Opinions are beliefs that are created from you inheriting your parents, and influential friend or co-worker, or your ties to the internet and false information. Believe it or not, not all you see and hear on multimedia is not gospel or true. 

I have talked to many people that say they watched a 'Tik-Tok' video, or a 'YouTube' and totally believe it is really true. Maybe it is, AND, maybe it is not. Some people really are filming these things in hopes to help you. Other just want to sway you over to the dark side and change your mind to their way of thinking. Don't be fooled! Do you own research to get to the truth. How? Read reviews, use many sources on both sides of the topic, Try to see and understand both sides, be the jury and see and hear ALL the facts.

In this time of division and turmoil in our world, you have to be the jury and judge to what is right and what is wrong BEFORE you make a decision on anything important. From which candidate to vote for, to what church to attend, or which school is best for you kids, and yes, what car to buy.

Coming up with the correct decision for you could take time you don't want to spend, and it may pan-out to be the wrong one, as time will tell. In my very first presidential election (at 19), I voted for the late George Wallace, previous governor of Alabama. I still regret that one. At least I did not buy a 'Yugo'.

Opinions come from your experiences in life and influenced by others. Be the individual and make your own opinions on things and hopefully the right ones. But they too may change. Take care and stay safe.

You don't know what you have, until you lose it.

 I think we all have lost something or someone and realize, "I really miss them (or it)." I am sorry to say, I have been there too. I did not realize the reality of how much it would affect me. Whether it is a loved one, a friend, a car, a house, a job, it hurts. Sometimes it is a loss you remember all your life. Some losses are worse than others, especially a loved one. And, people deal with it in different ways. Some mourn for the rest of their life, and others don't, Some just can not get over their loss and waste away from heartbreak. There is great help out there for those people, friends and families. 

As a retired firefighter, I have seen more than my share of carnage, destruction, death and loss. For some firefighters, military personnel, Police Officers nurse and doctors, those scene can never be erased from their memory. And those can haunt them forever.  Many try to suppress those memories and visions which makes it worse. I have seen this through co-workers. Firefighters, much like the other professions mentioned, build a wall around themselves it hopes of protecting them from breaking down after they witness an event. Everyone has different ways of coping. many do not want to seem weak or childlike. Talking to others that witnessed similar events can help tremendously. But sometimes they need to visit a professional.

We should all recognize the stages of mourning and loss.  
Denial - "This can not be happening."

Anger - "Life is unfair, why did this happen?'

Bargaining - "Looking for a shred of hope."

Depression - "The worst stage and maybe the most dangerous"

Acceptance - "Well they are in a better place."

An additional stage is, getting help.

A certain little thing may spark or re-ignite that memory you have suppressed for years, and all of a sudden you are reliving the loss and depression. Even if you know a loss is coming, you still experience that loss as if your heart was ripped apart again.

Many people suffer from a loss or losses and have no where to turn for help, or have a friend to talk to. Just a hug and an understanding shoulder to lean on helps so much to comfort a grieving person. Everyone has that capability to help if they just take a minute to listen to someone. Just listen, don't criticize, or tell them how to deal with their grief. Just be a friend.

It is never easy to be that grieving person or the be that friendly ear, but we have to try. Of course, life was not meant to be easy, was it? Take care, stay safe.

Respect and honesty

 Those are two words many of people talk about, but do they really practice what they preach and have those qualities? I am sorry to say, not many do. And I truly believe our society is losing those qualities rapidly. Whether it is in the home around relatives, or in the workplace, or around so-called friends, I have have seen (and heard) as soon as a person turns away people rise their eyebrow in disgust, speak harsh words about them, or tell lies about them. And this goes for what we call "TRUE FRIENDS". 

I think in my 70+ years, I have had maybe 3 TRUE friends. I am sure that those friends never said anything bad about me. Maybe they gave me advise about not doing something before I made a mistake, or held me back from committing a BIG mistake, like punching someone. But those friends stood by my through good and bad ALWAYS. They never cussed at me, they never talked down to me as an idiot, and were always very honest with me. Unfortunately they all are gone now and I miss them dearly.

My point is, we ALL have to be honest and respectful to EVERYONE at ALL times. You can be honest and subtle about any harsh words you have to tell someone, and still be respectful too. I know that can be a fine line, but we have to think about the other person's feelings and their borders in respect to harsh and TOO harsh. Believe me, I have tasted my foot in my mouth too many times, and it was not pleasant. I think politicians must have taken a class on how the cut you without being an ass, and smiling all the time they are doing it. Is a car dealer honest to you when describing a used car? Nope. How about a doctor saying, " Don't worry, this won't hurt." Sure doc. Or the biggest one, a so-called friend who cusses at you and talks to you as if you are an illiterate, back woods knot head that did not have a clue about anything. Is this your friend? I will admit, I may not be the smartest guy but no one is that stupid you must talk down to them, especially with four-letter words. 

Folks, we are all humans, and I understand we lose our tempers sometimes with other, but that is no reason to talk down to them, cuss at them, belittle them with your harsh words because you disagree. Yes we are human and definitely not perfect, but I believe everyone is born with love, caring and kindness in their hearts. 

Years ago, my crew stopped to  go into a Circle K for a cold drink (non-alcoholic of course) on a hot day when I notice this homeless person leaning against a wall in the parking lot. I walked over to him and asked when was the last time he ate. He said he could not remember. I told to sit in the shade and I'd back. Some of my crew said, "What are you doing? He is just some junkie homeless guy looking for drug money." I replied, "Yeah he could be, but won't you appreciate someone buying you a sandwich if you were hungry?" I bought the homeless guy a couple sandwiches, a bottle of orange juice and some cookies (because I like cookies too). We stuck around until he finished, called around to see if there was a homeless shelter close by to get him in. I don't do that  often but this guy needed a friend, or some help.

Kindness and respect for others go along way, with strangers, friends, family and most of all, be honest to yourself. Just maybe you aren't smarter or better than anyone else. Maybe some of our politicians could take a course in this too. Take care, stay safe.

Let's talk about 'Regrets'

Typically, something I hear, see or read inspires me to look into that topic before I write. This time it was a lady who wished she had gone back after a certain guy she had one date with decades before. Today, her and that guy had divorced or lost their spouse and were again single. Years later they accidently ran into each other and the flame was lite again. She and he said they finally did catch the one that got away.

According to people smarter than me, everyone has regrets. I regret I sold that car. I regret I didn't go out with …? I regret I didn't finish high school/college or didn't go. I regret I spoke to someone and hurt their feelings and never apologized. Yep, and the sad thing is we feel those regrets for years and years. Even today, I regret some of the words I spoke to my mother and father. But now, it's too late to say "I am sorry." And I am sure they understood I was a little mad when I spoke those words, but to me, it does not matter, because I still feel bad about it.

You meet a guy or girl and you can tell they sort of like you and deep down you feel something for them too, but yet you don't call them and make a second encounter/date. After a while that feeling comes to the surface and you wished you had called but you think "It's too late now".

I have heard so many people say, "Oh, I wished I'd said I am sorry", or "I love you" before they died. As one person said, "The one that got away always hurt and haunts you the worst and sticks with you for decades." So true. 

I am a strong believer that we should go with the GUT FEELING we have about things, but also lead with your heart too. It's like a dog thinking about jumping over a fence. Their gut tells them, "No, it's too high", but their heart says "Yes, if I push off hard I can make it".

If it is a human, we tell ourselves, "If I say I am sorry, it shows I am weak or admitting I am wrong." But later you find you were wrong, you will regret it forever. Have you ever heard someone say, " I just got my hip (or something else) repaired/replaced. I wish I had done it sooner". Why did they wait so long?

We ALL have many regrets, I believe. Some more that others but we have them. As a poor speller and not much for reading books on my own, I love writing. I appreciate the followers I do have, but I love to writing about topics some people just don't think about, or notice the weird things I notice.

We will always have something we will regret NOT doing or saying, but like the dog wanting to jump OVER the fence, maybe there a gate or even a hole under the fence. There is always plan B. Take care, stay safe and comment.

Who made an impression on you?

 When I was very young, there was no one bigger and made more of an impression on me than Superman and the Lone Ranger, both fictional characters of course, but huge to me. They made the bad guys pay and helped make the world safer. So I believed then. I don't believe in Fictional characters like I did then, but I do have so-called heroes. Maybe not someone with a cape or super powers, but still a hero to me. people that taught me a lesson in life and possibly caused  me to maybe be a little like that person to others.

Some of you would probably says it was your Father or your Mother, or maybe a big brother or sister. Yes one of mine was my Mother, a single woman who did what she could to make our lives bearable. I believe I had many heroes in my life. People who took the time to help me make the right decisions in life and career. They explain things to this naïve boy or young man. A lot I also learned through falling on my face and realizing that was not the right path to travel. I had a few teachers in high school who REALLY cared and guided me, inspired me to choose the  the better path for my goals.

Unfortunately, we don't recognize or tell those heroes in our lives they made a difference in your live until that person is gone. But somehow I think they know you appreciated their help.

As I have said before, I always equate the total sum of our personality, soul or being to a empty jug. Each person you have contact will deposit something in your jug until it is filled, and you are who and what you are today. It may be a few grains or a lot, but still forms you.

OK, now I have said enough about me, but how about YOU? I encourage you to tell me who made the biggest impression on your personality, career choices or any other path you took. I promise I will not publish it or make it public in ANY WAY. PLEASE comment here where I am the only person can read it, and it could be anonymous. A teacher, parent, siblings, co-worker, friend, acquaintance or your religion. 

Again, no one other than me will see it. Take care and stay safe.

Have you ever wished ...?

 Does anyone really reached the pinnacle of their dreams or goals in life? I believe some have gotten there. Some of us reach close to the dream, and most of us never get to the point where they think, FINALLY, I got what I wanted. I think most of us are just justify to themselves,  I'll get to a happy medium and (maybe) think it was an unreasonable golden ring you were reaching for. Of course there are those of us that just muddle through life and land wherever they may. How may times have you heard of someone who worked a job for 45 years and hated every minute. Or said it was just a job and always looked forward to the weekends to enjoy themselves? A happy worker is productive worker.

I can only use a couple examples, I know, from people closest to me. Our daughter realized she wanted to be a doctor from age 8. Today she is an OB/GYN doctor who owns her own practice. Nancy wanted to be a math teacher, but life headed her in a different direction, but she did work as a high school book store manager which she had to manage all the money for the school which she had to deal with numbers and taught other how to manage the funds also. Me? Well, I also wanted to be an artist, and train in Europe in the Renaissance fashion. My plans did start well in high school, but then Viet Nam came along and my dreams were crushed. I tried after my military time but with a family and child it became inaccessible financially.

Passions and dreams can move from one venue to another as life puts its feet in your way. As humans we learn to adapt to circumstances fairly easily.  Or we just give up and float down life's stream and land wherever you land. I was never meant to work a lifetime in some of the early jobs I had, so I kept on looking until I found something that fit me. Finally in 1977 I found it. Like anything in life, there were ups and downs, disappointments, people that wanted to disrupt my movement and parts of the job I hated, so I sidestepped them quickly.

Most of you know what I did, I was a firefighter. Most of the time a VERY rewarding job. Sometime dangerous, so times crazy, sometimes very sad, but mostly proud. The other part of my firefighting career was the department allowed my to spread my wings and do things (in the public and department's benefit), and my throw a little of what was left of my art talent in there too.

But, I don't mean to talk about me or my family's accomplishments, I want to let you know that you should never give up on your dreams, goals or aspirations in life, no matter how old or young you may be. Having those types of desires are what drives us, and failing causes you to try harder. I heard you have to fail 1000 times to finally reach the golden ring. You can not win without falling on you face. Try a different route or redesign your path to success. It is a very rough road, and yes, you will get bruised and cut many times, but strong people have lots of scares.

I have always been a person who could see around corners, watch out for that freight train coming so I don't get blindsided. Sometimes I got hit, and it hurt BAD!  And you will too, but don't give up. Like that box of chocolates Forrest Grump talked about, "You never know what you will get until you bite into it."

I still love to hear the stories about our daughter catching 8 babies in one shift. Or the sparkle in the eyes of our grandkids when Nancy shows them how to do a mathematical equation for their homework. They actually start loving math.

Life throws many curve balls during our lives, and we mostly learn to deal with it. Continue to 'BOB AND WEAVE", but never lose sight of the golden ring you are after. Take care and stay safe. OH!  And stay warm.

2024, a New Year or a repeat?

 As the clock flips over to a new year, and the news media reminds us of  the local and world events that happened over the last 12 months, all the people who died, and the advancements we have made, I too reflect back on my last year.

 I have never really made new year resolutions that I knew I'd never keep. I think we keep making the same ones each year and half hearted make them sound more obtainable like losing weight and getting back in shape.  I guess it sounds good but never comes to reality. But I have made one PROMISE to myself to TRY to be a better person, to advocate searching the truth, to do things that make people feel good about themselves, and to help people anyway I can. OK, I guess that is more than one promise.

But I have one big fault, I stop associating with people that do bad things to others.  And as the bible says, "Love thy enemy." That is very hard for me to do. You see, I have the knack to see through people who do things for their own benefit and welfare. Whether it be lying, stealing or blaming their own bad deed on others. They are not only being untrue to others, but also to themselves. They know who they are, and so do I.

For the last few three years, we have heard about the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, and the misinformation about the 2020 election being stolen, the insurrection and attack of the Capitol, The southern US borders being overrunned by people wanting to enter, and now the conflict in the Middle East. We hear about these things so often, ear start to turn down the sound in our heads. Our world and our country is in conflict. I don't blame outer space aliens for not coming to earth because the way we treat each other.

Our late fire chief said it simply, and to the point, "BE NICE". I think we are all judged by our deeds, how we treat others, and the words we speak. Not how rich, powerful or influential you are.

I am hoping for some major things to happen next year. The cure for the common cold, the cure for Cancer and Alzheimer's, climate change is reverse for the good, people learn how to use the turn signals and become more courteous, food prices go down along with gas. I know, those probably won't happen but I can hope. I've got a few more wishes, but I'll keep those to myself.

Folks, it's a group effort to make 2024 better than 2023. Losing weight and getting back into shape are good resolutions so don't stop doing those, but we really need your help. Little acts of kindness goes a long way. And maybe that act will encourage the next people, and the next, and the next. We can only hope and try.

So celebrate the coming of a new year, make those resolutions and add one more to BE NICE to others. Happy healthy and better New Year to you all!